Respecting the family

written on APRIL 23, 2019

Jesse has been in heaven now for nearly 2 months. Yet it’s beginning to feel like decades to me.

It’s still so fresh after his death and I feel the need to take a giant rest in life for the time being (is that even possible?) Mostly, I want to be sensitive to Jesse’s family. Even though Jesse was like a son to us in so many ways, I do not know what it’s like for his dear mother right now as she grieves the loss of her only son, and out of respect for her I’m changing the direction that I’ve been writing these last couple of months.

Many of the events that occurred during those 5 months of flying back and forth across the ocean are very intense and perhaps time can help draw wisdom out of what is still raw and emotional.

I’ve got plenty of stories to share, not only about sweet Jesse but about life. There were so many people Ken and I met during that time and I’m looking forward to unpacking experiences from all of those that were a part of Jesses final days on earth.

One of those people is Katie Small, we called her the ‘changing of the guard!’ She lives locally in Oahu in a beautiful area called Kailua. This amazing lady commutes a long way everyday for work. When we first met her she was at the hospital visiting Jesse. She would ‘show up’ after work to spend time encouraging him and she would bring drawings and pictures of paintings she did for him from the inspiration and dreams that the Lord would give her for Jesse. I’m looking forward to sharing more about Katie.

Jesse also had a friend from Maryland, his name is Kip. Jesse knew Kip and Deb and their 3 children from when he lived with them for awhile before they moved to Florida. Kip’s positive attitude was contagious! He would come into Jesses room and say “Hey Champ!” He brought so much joy into his room and he always put such a big smile on Jesses face! I’ll share more about Kip and what he wrote about Jesse one day while he was there!

Don Penner was a surprise for Jesse and for all of us. He’s always been a faithful friend and one day he called Ken and I from Maryland while we were in Oahu visiting at the hospital. He was so passionate about the Aloe Vera plant that he wanted to share all he had been learning, he said it’s called it ASE-manna. He had studied the properties of this plant and knew all of it’s benefits for Jesses broken body. After a quick prayer, he got on a plane the next day and flew from Maryland to Oahu to be an advocate for Jesse and to share his knowledge of this healing wonder with the physicians. Even though Jesse wasn’t ever allowed to get the ASE-manna, it was Don’s tenacity that made an impression on the medical workers caring for Jesse. He had written a long informative paper for the doctors to read. He spent a lot of time and effort, all hoping to benefit his dear friend Jesse. Don’s laughter was like a healing medicine in a place that could be very serious and sterile much of the time.

There were so many more! David Choi, Abby Coates, Sister Abby, Jenny Chen, pastors like Gary Genco and Damien, church friends from Blue Water and from Calvary Chapel like Kelly, Truly, Leon and Cal. Ywam friends, facebook friends. And of course, his yogi sister pictured below is Abby doing her moves in the lobby of the hospital during very long days alternating between the room and waiting room.

So much love poured into room 459!



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Annette Cardoza

Annette Cardoza

I was a hospice nurse and transitioning into procuring plants. I no longer care for the sick. I’m now taking care of me. Learning to live amongst the living.